


Meeting

by MonochromeSunset



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Alcohol Abuse, Depression, GAY GAY GAY, I've got two nerds I hope you like them, Like, M/M, PTSD, Past Relationship(s), Sexual Assault, Soldiers, Suicide, This gets deep, War, Yo dude this ain't even a fic its just a story I've had in my brain, poor children, really gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-05-16
Packaged: 2018-06-08 18:35:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6868744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MonochromeSunset/pseuds/MonochromeSunset
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sun was already messed up, but he had no idea how much bringing another person into his life would change it. Alex was just looking for someone to split rent with. It's amazing what you'll find in life when you stop looking. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>(Just a mini story outline thing??? It could be better, but frankly my dear, I don't give a damn)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meeting

"Hey, I'm Sun. It's really nice to meet you, how are you?" The only words that came to mind when describing Sun, was how vibrant he was. How alive. How... Happy. Colorful. 

"Well, it's truly a pleasure to meet you. I'm Alex." Alex shook Sun's hand. He smiled at this "Sun". He felt the colors of Sun. The good energy. 

\---------

Alex liked Sun. Well, really liked Sun. He loved his light. He loved his smile. He loved how he hugged. He loved the warmth on his eyes. 

"What're you looking at?" Sun without malice, just curiosity. 

Alex felt his face go red. "Oh, nothing. Sorry."

Sun nudged him slightly. "Nothing to be sorry for! You're fine." He smiled. "Well, whatever you're looking at, you're looking at it like its the world."

Alex felt like he drank hot chocolate. Warmth spread through his body. "It is."

\--------

"Were you... Or are you in the military?"

Sun raised an eyebrow. "Funny you say that. Yes, indeed. Both, I guess?"

"So... Is that why you always disappear?" Alex said stretching out

"Yes... Well, no... But yes..." Sun shook his head. "It's... Complicated."

\---------

"Are you okay?" Alex said, concerned. 

Sun nodded happily. "Of course! Whew, today was tiring. I'm a bit sleepy." 

"Then you should sleep. It's probably good for you."

Sun laughed. "Probably? It is!" His chest hurt. His head hurt. He didn't say anything. But he was fine. Nothing serious. 

\--------

"You tired?"

"Yeah. Long day. I'll be okay though." Sun tried to put on a happy face, but couldn't. 

Alex looked confused. "What is it? Something bad happen?"

Sun managed a smile. "No, silly. I said I was tired. Too many hours in a day." 

\----------

"What's bothering you?"

"Oh, nothing. Just... Nostalgia... Kicking in. I can't remember... And I want to..." Sun had his head in his hands. 

"Do you have any idea what you're trying to remember?" Alex put his hand on Sun's shoulder. 

"Yes." Sun leaned in Alex. "But it's leaving me... It almost...hurts?"

"You should probably lay down then. You have another long day ahead of you, yeah?"

"Yeah."

\-------

"Does it hurt again?"

"It has been. Maybe I should ask for a break?" Sun said curling up. Alex sat next to him, trying to comfort him. 

"You should. You haven't hit your head or anything? Right?"

Sun shook his head only to wince in pain. "It's my thoughts... They keep clashing with each other... I can't concentrate..."

Alex grabbed onto Sun's hand. "It'll be okay. You probably just have a bad migraine."

\---------

"Woah, Sun?! What happened?!"

"Nothing, doll." Sun said, clearly in pain. "I'm going to be fine."

"Let me see." Alex gently said. Sun rolled up his sleeves, showing his old scars, a couple new ones. Alex could see before Sun could refuse to show him. The collar of his shirt didn't hide very well the fact his chest was bruised and his neck had a burn on it. "Jesus Christ, Sun! What has gotten into you! You must be more careful!"

Sun nodded. The pain. The scars. It only reminded him of what he was. He felt like he was trapped in a never ending cycle of pain. He wasn't getting better at hiding it, if not, getting worse. He felt like he wasn't human anymore. Just a creature of war. A creature of revenge. He hugged Alex, even though it hurt, and Alex gently returned the hug. "I promise. I'll live. I can't fight another day."

\--------

"Sun... What's wrong?"

Sun looked different. There was nothing bright left about him. Dull. Dull, yes that's the word. He seemed rough. Instead of polished and smooth, he seemed hardened, harsh and rough. He wasn't skinny anymore. He seemed almost all muscle. "It's nothing."

"You walk differently now..."

Even that confused Sun. "How?"

"I don't know." Alex said, shaking his head. "Something is wrong... Please... Let me help you."

"I'm fine, doll. I'm going to be. I think I'll take a nap. Are you...?"

Alex exhaled. "Yeah. I'll be there in a second. I just need a minute..." Sun left and Alex whispered to himself, "What have I done wrong? I... I don't know."

\---------

"You aren't yourself."

"I know." Sun responded. He knew he snapped. With each step, he almost shook the earth. People barely looked him in the eyes. They were afraid. He struck fear in the hearts of all that passed him. Every word he spoke, it was like he killed someone.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Alex said in the most comforting way he could. 

"Not really..."

"Please. For us. I want to help you. But I also want to hear from you."

Sun sighed deeply. He knew he would regret saying this. "Do... Do you know I remember all the faces? Every single one. Don't forget them, because they'll never forget you. You are the last thing they see before they die. And they know it. And... It hurts. Afterwards, it hurts to breathe. Do you know where it hurts me most?" Sun pointed at his collarbones, his temples and put his hand on his heart and where his lungs would be. He wanted to cry. "It never goes away, you know? It's always there. It always reminds me. And... And it hurts."

Alex pulled Sun into a very cautious but warm hug. He ran his hand through Sun's hair. "Why do you continue on with this? You can quit... You can give up." Alex cooed. 

"I run the huge risk of dying. I... I can't afford that. And neither can you, doll."

"You don't have to suffer alone. Hell, you don't have to suffer at all. I can protect you." Alex looked at Sun. Sun looked pathetic. He hated seeing Sun like that. Even with his now sharp and sunken facial features, his face looked soft. Being in Alex's arms seemed to have a good effect on Sun. 

Sun wrapped his arms around Alex. "I wish it wasn't like this."

\--------

"Sun? Where are you?"

Alex looked around. "Sun?" He felt his body started to shake. He saw the bathroom door. He tried opening it. Locked. "No, no! Sun!" He tried wrestling with the door, desperately trying to open it. "Sun! Sun! Please! Open up!"

Sun cracked his hands and fingers. He picked up his gun. His grip tightened on it as he began to cry. 

Alex kept slamming his body against the door. "Sun! Please! Please!" He cried. He backed up, and kicked the door opened and ran inside. He wrestled the gun with Sun, Sun not saying a word, only struggling. Alex got it and shoved it aside. He was on top of Sun, and holding him down. 

Sun seemed to go limp. He couldn't meet eyes with Alex. It was too hard. He disappointed him. 

Alex then brought Sun into an embrace. "God... Please, don't ever do that again... Please."

Sun didn't respond. He just hugged Alex back. 

\------

"Something isn't right. You know it too."

Sun stared blankly out the window. His eyes seemed glazed. He didn't even look human. He was so still, he looked like a mannequin. 

"Don't do that ever again... Please. I... I can't live without you."

Alex slid his hand into Sun's. Sun squeezed back. His forehead was in the crook of Alex's neck. He felt his pulse. It was slow. Steady. Constant. Alive. 

"Sun? What's wrong? Please tell me!"

Sun felt tears as he buried his face in Alex's chest. "I'm a monster..."

And that was when Sun broke.

\--------

"Are you drinking again?"

Sun shrugged. "Yea. Why not?"

"What in the hell is up with you?"

"Nothing." Sun said folding his arms. 

"You're drunk."

"You fuckin' know it."

"You think you're so high and mighty. You think you're the best soldier? You think you're immortal? Untouchable?"

"Who doesn't?"

Alex held Sun by the collar of the shirt. "How dare you. How dare you have the nerve to say that!" Alex dropped Sun. "You aren't the Sun I know. What is wrong with you?"

"I'm great. How're you, doll?"

Alex was fuming at this point, ready to punch Sun. "Don't you ever call me that ever again!" He held his fist in the air. "You cocky son of a bitch! I wish I never met you! I wish I never loved you! You disgust me, you hear? Leave me alone, bastard."

Sun smiled and shrugged. "No problem," he paused. "Doll"

Alex punched him hard. Right in the face. Then another time. Then another. Hit after hit, Sun seemed to get bloodier. Still smiling. Alex knocked Sun down. Then Alex stormed out the door. "See you in hell, bitch."

Sun stayed on the floor. He covered his face with his hands. 

\---------

"Alex... I'm so... I'm so sorry." Sun said, head in hands. 

"How am I expected to forgive you? You don't deserve it."

"I know I don't. But god, please. Try. You... You're all I have left."

"I can't believe I'm doing this," Alex said exhaling and balling his firsts. "I'm going to believe you."

\----------

"Sun? Please! Respond! What happened?"

Sun stared at the ground, his eyes blank. His hands were on his knees. 

He tried to find where Sun's eyes were, and tried to meet them. Sun promptly looked up and stared at him. His eyes looked like broken fragments of brown glass. Sun closed his eyes then showed Alex his hands. 

Alex covered his mouth. "Oh my god... Oh my god..."

Sun's hands were stained with blood. "It won't come off... It won't..."

Alex held Sun's hands. He kissed Sun. "Hey. Look at me. It... It will."

Sun's cheeks were now hollow. He was devoid of life and color. Nothing remained. "I'm... I'm a monster. No one loves me. I've killed so many... It scares everyone away... Children are afraid of me. People run away from me... I'm no longer... A loved, generous soldier. I am a monster."

"But... I love you." Alex said. "Why... Why is this all coming up now?"

Sun's eyes were welling up. "A girl... Not my soldiers, the enemy's... She couldn't defend herself. I couldn't help her. I was trying to fend for my own life. People were surrounding me. If I stopped to help her, I'd be dead... I couldn't help her. She was crying... She was screaming. And no one helped her."

"Sun..." Alex sighed and brushed the hair out of his face. "I... I don't know what to say."

Sun was on the brink of tears. "Just... Don't say anything."

\-------

Alex felt in his heart. Past that, no light ever reached Sun's eyes. He hopes that one day he'd see it again. The light he loved so much. But he knew in his heart that there was no way to light up the dark in his eyes. He was a shell of who he was. Every day, Sun came back, looking more broken. He was distant. And he never spoke. He stopped talking all together. Alex could deal with it. He knew that it had a lot to do with the girl. Sun blamed himself. He would come home, eat dinner, then fall asleep hanging on to Alex. Until one day, he never came back. Alex didn't know what to think. He always felt like a piece of him was missing. He was never full ever again. 

Alex, held Sun's gun in his hands. "I'm sorry. I wish it wasn't this way, doll." 

He pulled the trigger.

**Author's Note:**

> HOOOOOO BOY THAT WAS GOOD TO GET OFF MY CHEST THANKS FOR READING I LOVE YOU


End file.
